Flawed by Kate Avelynn

Sarah O’Brien is alive because of the pact she and her brother made twelve years ago — James will protect her from their violent father if she promises to never leave him. For years, she’s watched James destroy his life to save hers. If all he asks for in return is her affection, she’ll give it freely.

Until, with a tiny kiss and a broken mind, he asks for more than she can give.

Sam Donavon has been James’ best friend — and the boy Sarah’s had a crush on — for as long as she can remember. As their forbidden relationship deepens, Sarah knows she’s in trouble. Quiet, serious Sam has decided he’s going to save her. Neither of them realizes James is far more unstable than her father ever was, or that he’s not about to let Sarah forget her half of the pact...

4.75-5 Stars

**WARNING** I’m an emotional wreck and cannot control the verbal vomit that will most likely come out of my mouth. So with that said, the following may contain spoilers and some expletives. You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk :) 

You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

“No, I love you. You’ve never loved me, even though it’s supposed to be me and you, forever.” He reaches for my waist and buries his sticky face in my stomach. “Why can’t I be enough? I want to be enough so fucking bad.” ~ James 

Fuck. My. Life. I waited forever for this book to come out. The release date was pushed back so many times, I was ready to sayfuck it and not even bother to read this. Alas, I had to find out if it was worth the wait. Well, let me state for the record: This was worth the wait, well…at least to an extent.This story is not fluffy and far from an easy read. This broke me. I’m hurt and I’m just flat out numb from the experience. I want to hate this, I really do, but I just can’t. It was definitely a couldn’t put it downstory. Just be prepared for a highly emotional read. 

I have no idea what he sees in me. Strength, he says. Beauty. A big heart. I see none of these things. I see fear, flaws, and a heart so full of blackness I can’t give up my own selfish wants to set him or my brother free.

This story is told from our heroine, Sarah’s, POV. Her family life is fucked up. Her dad is an alcoholic and a former boxer with lots and lots of regrets. He takes out his drunken aggression out on his kids, James and Sarah. James has always been her protector; her savior. He takes the brunt of punches and does everything in his power to protect her. The only drawback to James’ protectiveness is his obsession with her. He makes her promise to never leave him. Their lives both revolve around each other. She cannot and will not do anything intentionally to hurt her beloved brother. The guilt he lays upon her binds her to him. However it becomes clear that his feelings for her is starting to become more than sisterly, especially when his best friend, Sam, is showing interest in her. 

Sarah has been interested in Sam for as long as she can remember. When they start to form a relationship, her feelings are mixed with elation and worry. She can be herself with him. He knows her every flaw, both inside and outside ones. Even after seeing all her scars, he still loves her. She doesn’t understand why, but is grateful for the love and friendship he provides. Sam fills a big hole in Sarah’s life that James cannot fill, no matter how much he wants to. She doesn’t want to break her brother’s heart and knows James is capable of hurting Sam if he ever found out about them, so they keep hush-hush, at least for now.

While being with Sam is every bit as incredible as I’d dreamt it’d be, he’s temporary. James is permanent. 

While most stories are transparent and you know who the heroine should pick; most of the time, I want to smack some sense into her. However, this was not the case. I wanted her with Sam, more than anything, but I can understand her loyalty towards James. How could you not? He’s been her everything. After all they’ve been through, I understand her hesitance. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted her to choose Sam, but the choice really wasn’t easy to come by. My mind and heart hurt at Sarah’s predicament. 

Towards the end of the book, my heart was racing and I was eager to know how this will all come to a close. Without spoiling much, let me just state that I was an emotional wreck, still am actually. I wanted to give the book less stars, but I just couldn’t. It was such a good story, but I wished the ending took a different route. 

If you decide to read this, you are in for one heck of an emotional story. There are moments where you will cringe. I guarantee you will feel conflicted and your heart will be torn to shreds, but I cannot deny the long lasting impact this story had on me. So there you have it. Go forth and read this at your own risk. You will either hate it or appreciate it for the incredible emotions it’ll illicit from you.

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If you're interested, there is an alternate ending (which BTW, made me smile :)
http://www.kateavelynn.com/alternate-...